15则英语经典幽默笑话
英语经典幽默笑话1.
The new isn t good when a guy visits the doctor for his annual check up. You ve got to do something to improve your health, the doctor said.
What? the patient asked.
I recommend walking and jogging.
But, doctor, said the worried guy, I already jog a few miles every morning.
In that case, replied the doctor, you d better give it up.
英语经典幽默笑话2.
A man walked into a crowded restaurant and caught the eye of a harried waiter. You know, he said, it s been ten years since I came in here.
Don t blame me. The waiter snapped, I m working as fast as I can.
英语经典幽默笑话3.
Driving down a winding country road, a man came upon a youth running hard, three huge dogs snarling at his heels. The man screeched his car to a halt and threw open the door. get in, get in! he shouted.
Thanks, gasped the youth. You re terrific. Most people won t offer a ride when they see I have three dogs!
英语经典幽默笑话4.
A: Oh, dear, what s wrong with your fingers?
B: I want to count how many teeth the dog has, so I put my
hand into the mouth of the dog.
A: The dog has bitten you, hasn t it?
B: Yes. Maybe the dog wants to count how many fingers I have, and I have no choice.
英语经典幽默笑话5.
F: Do you know why I punish you, Peter?
S: I don t know, Dad, But why?
F: Because you ve hit a boy younger than you.
S: But I m younger than you, Dad. Why do you hit me?
英语经典幽默笑话6.
A: Do you know what s the difference between electricity and lightning? Asked the teacher.
B: Lightning is free of charge.
英语经典幽默笑话7.
A: You have been to London, haven t you?
B: Yes. It s very interesting.
A: What do you think is the most interesting thing?
B: The children in London are very clever. They can speak English at 2 or 3.
英语经典幽默笑话8.
A: What are the strongest day of the week?
B: Saturday and Sunday. Because all the others are weak (week) days.
英语经典幽默笑话9.
A: Why do people call their own language their mother tongue?
B: Because their fathers seldom get a chance to use it.
英语经典幽默笑话10.
One day, a famous French writer went to a restaurant for dinner. But he was very dissatisfied with the food.
Bring the manager, he said to the waiter after paying the bill.
Soon the manager came. The writer told him, Please give me a big hug.
What?
Please embrace me!
What s the matter with you, Sir?
This is the last time we ll ever meet.
英语经典幽默笑话11.
A man went to a movie theatre and was surprised to find a woman with a big dog sitting in front of him. Even more astonishing was the fact that the dog always laughed in the right places throughout the comedy.
Excuse me, the man asked the woman, but I think it is fantastic that your dog enjoys the film so much.
I m surprised myself, she replied. He hated the book.
英语经典幽默笑话12.
A man in a train could not find his silk handkerchief and he accused a woman beside him of stealing it. But just before he was going to get off, he found it under his seat. He said to the woman, Well, Madam. Don t take my little mistake to heart.
I took you for a gentleman, and you regarded me as a thief.
